tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60301926963196820822012-02-17T04:06:05.682+08:00gaarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579909322039658581noreply@blogger.comBlogger51100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6030192696319682082.post-75109608511568085812010-03-09T17:27:00.001+08:002010-03-09T17:27:51.332+08:00<p>its raining again .. </p><p><br /></p><p> same timing ...</p><p><br /></p><p>same kinda rain ...</p><p><br /></p><p>different day ....</p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6030192696319682082-7510960851156808581?l=gaaraz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>gaarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579909322039658581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6030192696319682082.post-27139329458760940302007-12-12T13:19:00.001+08:002007-12-12T13:20:22.185+08:00HEY I FOUND MY OLD BLOG !!<br/><br/>GONNA GO BACK TO IT ....<br/><br/>GONNA CLOSE THIS DOWN ...<br/><br/><br/>www.jy86.blogspot.com ...<br/><br/><br/>ps about it ...<br/><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6030192696319682082-2713932945876094030?l=gaaraz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>gaarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579909322039658581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6030192696319682082.post-18137697437718101092007-08-10T09:43:00.000+08:002007-08-10T09:46:08.783+08:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_O28WIWANxj0/RrvDR6y66qI/AAAAAAAAAAM/81cTuqkHafE/s1600-h/New+Picture.bmp"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_O28WIWANxj0/RrvDR6y66qI/AAAAAAAAAAM/81cTuqkHafE/s400/New+Picture.bmp" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5096882115907873442" /></a><br /><div align="center"><span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong><i>haiz ...<br />i noe i mentioned in my previous post that i feel i am weaken ...<br />but then, i do not noe when, why did it happen...<br />think i am sick ... depression ... LOL<br />jus find life so lifeless ... so meaningless ....<br />felt like old times again jus tat this time is worst than the other time .. ( i had tis feeling b4 ... posted at my friendster blog ... )<br /> when not doing anyting, i can sit there and daydream ...<br />i dun even know what am i thinking at that moment ...<br />but funny ting is, i jus felt like crying ... LOLX ...<br />seriously , if i didnt stop myself all the time, snapping out of it as i feel tears trying to come out from my eyes, i believed i wont have bursted in to tears without knowing why ...<br />lol<br /> am i emo-ing ?<br />for the 2nd or 3rd time in my life, i dunno ....<br /> play majong, play maple, all these keeps me away from this feeling ...<br />but as the end, the feeling jus rushed back to my mind ....<br /> maybe its time 4 my 2nd personality to take over ....<br />LOL ...<br />i always believed that there are at least 2 personality in a person...<br /> shared tis view with a few person b4 ...<br /> i noe it sounds stupid ...<br /> but think about it ....<br />some people has more than 2 personality, too many 4 the brain to bear thus becoming crazy, as we known as, mental illiness( sheng jing ping ) ...<br />feel like i am going up that way ... LOL<br /><br /><br />the 2 personallty is simple, one is ur actual self, the other one is the character ur sub concious made up to protect<br />urself ...<br /><br /><br />like this person i noe, heard when she young always tio bully, she is acutally quite nice person de, but now, she<br />becomes to0 self centered, inconsiderate etc... the nice personality is her actual self, the other one is made up<br />by her mind to protect herself as she do not wan to face the same situation again etc ... sad 2 say, all of us are<br />like dat, the 2nd personality is formed to protect dat person from what the fear...<br /><br /><br />haha being thinking of this logic for years, i have been thinking about my own personality to0 ...<br /><br /><br />haha ... i noe which are my 2 personality ... but nt gonna disclose them ... lol<br /><br /><br /><br />actually tis post yest i wrote de, but stopped half way, when i wrote it, abit emo .. but now, i feel tired instead<br />of emo, so cant write out dat standard liao ...<br /><br /><br />lol haha ..<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />been spending lots of time playing maple story recently ... currently lvl 66 liaoz ..<br /><br /><br />gonna chiong all the way till 70 ...<br /><br />hah the attached pic is my dearest char .. nice ??<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></i></strong></span><br /></div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6030192696319682082-1813769743771810109?l=gaaraz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>gaarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579909322039658581noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6030192696319682082.post-23098142320296174012007-08-07T20:47:00.000+08:002007-08-07T20:48:35.217+08:00<div align="center"><span style="color:#ff0000;"><i><strong>have i or have i not changed ??<br/> <br/> <br/>who can tell me ??<br/> <br/> <br/>in the past, i can go to school alone, go home alone, <br/> <br/> <br/>can even walk to shopping mall alone to have meal den walk home...<br/> <br/> <br/>but now, as i think about it, it was a mono life...<br/> <br/> <br/>now, i feel so lonely ...<br/> <br/> <br/>everywhere i go, i want people to accompany me ...<br/> <br/> <br/>have i been weaken ?<br/> <br/> <br/>or is there another reason for it ?<br/><br/> <br/>in the past, i have this believe, i believe that (sorry i do not meant anything) religon is for people that are mentally weak, unable to solve or take the stress<br/>from their lives, thus seeking a solution by praying to their god, someone they entrust their faith in that will help them solve their problems ...<br/> <br/>same think i tot about friends, i never believed there are true friends, i believe that people became friends becos the needed someting the other party has<br/>that they do not have, i believe that the biggger groups they hang around in, the weaker they are individually ...<br/> <br/>to weak to survive and needs help from others...<br/> <br/> <br/>i was a loner in the past, a introvert that keeps everyting to myself,<br/> <br/>but as i joined poly life and working society,<br/> <br/> <br/>i realised i changed drmatically ...<br/> <br/> <br/>i became more out spoken ..<br/> <br/> <br/>although still a introvert on certain aspects ...<br/> <br/> <br/>but at least much better ....<br/> <br/> <br/>even than, when i became out spoken, the mentality of religon and friends did not change ....<br/> <br/> <br/>after work, i do not wait for people to go home together, i just walk off alone ...<br/> <br/> <br/>it did not for once bothered me ...<br/> <br/> <br/>it just feel so natural ...<br/> <br/> <br/>but now, thinking about it, i feel so weak ...<br/> <br/> <br/>as if i had been weaken ...<br/> <br/> <br/>now, alone, i do not feel like doing anyting ...<br/> <br/> <br/>do not feel even like walking out to buy food to eat ...<br/> <br/> <br/>all my sense of motivation is gone ...<br/> <br/> <br/>seem so lost ....<br/> <br/> <br/>one close friend once told me i need to set a goal in future so i wont get lost, but den, i seriously do not even know wad lay in front of me in future, not least, set a goal ....<br/> <br/> <br/>somehow, i think i noe the answer to my problem deep in myself ...<br/> <br/> <br/>but apparently i do not dare to face it ...<br/> <br/> <br/>haiz y am i like dat, cos i no self confidence ? cos i scare ?? cos i too ego ?? cos i 2 emo ????<br/> <br/> <br/>i dunno .... probabily a mixture of all ...<br/> <br/>last week there was this particular day. <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/>think it is thurs or fri, <br/> <br/> <br/>normally i have one or two friends going home with me, dat day, all were not there...<br/> <br/> <br/> <br/>i suddenly felt so left out ... so lonely ...<br/> <br/> <br/> <br/>that is wad ? i dunno ... isit jus purely lonely feelings or others as well ?? <br/> <br/> <br/>am scare 2 face it .... <br/> <br/> <br/>perhaps i shall let time wash it away, just like or other problems and headache stuff that i have faced b4 ...<br/> <br/> <br/>let time do its job while i continue to lead a lifeless life .... <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/>realli gonna start editing this blog ... to make it look nice ... <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/>emo-ness runs in everyone .... byez ....</strong></i></span><br/></div><br/><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6030192696319682082-2309814232029617401?l=gaaraz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>gaarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579909322039658581noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6030192696319682082.post-8362577624591743422007-08-02T20:11:00.000+08:002007-08-02T20:17:43.194+08:00well becos i to0 long no touch my blog liaoz ...<br/><br/><br/>old blog could not be retreieved ...<br/><br/><br/>so, i started tis new 1 ...<br/><br/><br/>gonna slowly edit this website ...<br/><br/><br/>but haiz, time flies man ...<br/><br/>its aug already ...<br/><br/><br/>working in a company named "Muvee"<br/><br/><br/>my job is a QA tester ...<br/><br/><br/>kinda easy jus veri lengthie ...<br/><br/><br/>so much things had happened in this little time that has past ...<br/><br/><br/><br/>but, i am jus posting cos i feel emo now ...<br/><br/><br/><br/>and i mean super emo ...<br/><br/><br/>lol<br/><br/><br/><br/>normally, i will go home with my colleuge ...<br/><br/><br/><br/>since wed, wendy started working ...<br/><br/><br/>so i tot i got 2 ppl accompany me home ....<br/><br/><br/><br/>but 2day, my colleuge meet his friend, could not go home with me ...<br/><br/><br/>wendy went to meet her best friend, could not go home with me ....<br/><br/><br/>although i noe it is very common, <br/><br/><br/>but, i jus could not explain tis emo-ness feeling in me ...<br/><br/><br/>jus felt so lonely and left out ... LOL ...<br/><br/><br/>den george called, said he is at bugis, maybe wan catch movie or someting, <br/><br/><br/>so i said ok ... feeling slightly better ...<br/><br/><br/>den no movies to watch ... den he took bus home without me !!!<br/><br/><br/><br/>wa emo-ness once again overpowered my mind.... <br/><br/><br/>emo till i was driven, wanting to take cab home ...<br/><br/><br/>but lucky the long que at the taxi stand changed my mind ...<br/><br/><br/>hahah ...<br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6030192696319682082-836257762459174342?l=gaaraz.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>gaarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07579909322039658581noreply@blogger.com0